Today’s tip…Point of View.
When writing a story, there are many debates on third person point of view or who is telling the tale. To some, you start with one person’s point of view and carry it the entire story. Some do it by the scene or chapter. Some by the paragraph. I really have no opinion on that whole debate. My point is to keep your reader from becoming confused.
Therefore, today’s tip is to make sure that whichever character has the focus at that moment, make sure to carry it through so you don’t switch POV (also called head-hopping) mid-paragraph or mid-sentence. That can confuse the reader horribly.
Walking into the room, the commander finds Princess Allura standing near the window and approaches her. As he nears her, she turns and says, “Hello Keith.” Gesturing toward the windows, Allura smiles, “Look at the sky, isn’t it beautiful?”
Did you see it? The start of the paragraph, the focus is on the commander. But the third lines switches the POV to Allura. Do you see how it can confuse the reader? Here’s how it should have been written to keep focus.
Walking into the room, the commander finds Princess Allura standing near the window and approaches her. As he nears her, she turns and says, “Hello Keith.” He watches her gesture to the window and smile, “Look at the sky. isn’t it beautiful?”
Notice how I kept the focus on the commander throughout the whole paragraph? Be watchful of that as you write your stories and you’ll keep your readers happy.